


513

by Good_Or_Bad_Luck



Category: Lumberjanes
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dungeons & Dragons, F/F, Time Loop, Vampires, first wren and emily fit on ao3 yeehaw, rated t for the f word and also murder, this time for real! its from our lumberjanes and session!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 10:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21474883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Good_Or_Bad_Luck/pseuds/Good_Or_Bad_Luck
Summary: Things loop, never ending, never changing.Your name is Wren Colette, and its been 0 days since your birthday, yet you've woken up over 500 times after you turned 15.
Relationships: Emily/Wren (Lumberjanes)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	513

**Author's Note:**

> a story about the lumberjanes and session im in! at the time of posting this we just met wren for the first time! and i had the idea of this story! try and guess which roanoke im playing as
> 
> special thanks to lesbijane who is our lovely dm for this campaign and who edited this fic!!

Another day, another aching pain in your chest. Another stake through the heart, another birthday, another heartbreak.

The mother heard the raven’s cry the first time around, but only groups of crows are called murder. This raven is no murderer. This raven knows what it’s like to have friends, why would they keep coming back if they weren’t the raven’s friends?

Every loop hurts a little more, yet a little less. Apathy sets in slowly, numbing pain while it grows because you know one day you just won’t care anymore. 

You feed your bird everyday, try to teach it something new everyday. The bird never remembers, sometimes you wish it never would. It's nice to have something to do after every loop. Shortcake forgets, you remember, Shortcake gets a few more words every single go around, you are a bit better at teaching her every time you wake up.

You walk to the same table every party, funny, they’ve never moved where they sit. The dragonborn and the half-elf always sit next to each other, Wren quickly learned why, the same for the human paladin and her Goddess, Wren assumed. The dwarf sits next to the wizard, and the halfling always smiles so wide when they see you. The alien girl stares at you, she always asks you about your favorite flowers.

You hated them, they talked too loud, they laughed too much. The human paladin talked like she was your best friend, they all did, you hated them. You didn’t know they always got you a present, you never stayed around those first 15 times, they always looked so so broken. You never cared, they didn’t matter, you were broken, you were broken so much more then who ever they were would ever be.

The human wizard is named Jo. She asks about your writing, you smile, just a bit, every time. You tell her something new every loop. She gets a big smile every loop.

The dwarf is named April, wild, strong. You swear that you saw her rip the door of your room once. The wall was almost gone too.

The half-elf is named Molly, she’s quiet, at first, you swear shes gets louder every loop. You think she could beat the Goddess at archery.

The dragonborn is named Mal, she raves on and on about bands and songs you’ve never heard of. She mentioned that she can play the flute, she’s dueted with you before.

The human paladin is named Hes. She introduced herself, she accidentally called you by your name. You didn’t even introduce yourself yet, the look on her face was shocked, and a little bit scared. You didn’t say anything then, you never did any time after that.

The Goddess is Artemis, she tells you to call her Diane. You don’t see a reason not to. You get a little scared when she asks to try your drink, you’ve never said yes. She always gets a little mad, but she never takes her anger out at you.

The halfling is named Barney. They ask about your bird every single time, they let you pet their Marigold every single time. They sign to you when some loops you don’t talk. They don’t mind that sometimes your voice just can’t make a noise.

The alien is named Emily. You always thought that was a beautiful name. The girl it is attached to is beautiful as well. She asks time and time what you like, colors, flowers, candy sometimes. It took 46 loops to finally dance with her, the dragonborn sometimes pushes you as well. You always want to dance with her.

It hurts every single time you meet them, ever since you talked to them, they always introduce themselves excitedly, asking question after question. Lately you just call them by their name, some part of you knows it doesn’t matter anyway. They always give you a gift, always a band you love. You didn’t get a lot of gifts this birthday. You always put whatever they got you in the same place. Your heart breaks when you see that part of the desk empty. 

Posters, pens, notebooks, flower crowns, they’ve given you so much, you never got to keep any of it.

A mirror shatters every single time. That blasted fox is always there. You’ve started to notice her in things, a guest watches you too closely, someone sneaking into the library, someone breaking into your room. She feels like an old friend at this point, but you never want to see her when she leaves. 

Sometimes it’s not her that kills you, a chandelier dropping, a fire starting, the loops are never the same. You think you would have gone mad by now if they were. Accidents happen, a misfired arrow, a spell, or a bullet. You lost count how many times you saw their horrified faces in the mirror glass. Sometimes they do it, you’ll never forget the screams of people that weren’t you as the dragonborn broke every mirror she saw. How the human paladin said “You’re not her” and smashed the mirror in front of her in rage. You get too scared to see them after those loops, you always return, it’s only ever happened once. 

Emily died in a loop once, you held her close, they lied so so much, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, they shouted and yelled as you broke the mirror yourself. You just wanted this loop to be over, you just wanted to see her smile again. You were destined to die, not her.

You woke up, you went to the party. You saw Emily, you never wanted to stop the dance. 

436, that was how you started this one. You woke up, you fed Shortcake, you timed how long it took for your mother to burst in and try to wake you up. A thought gnaws on the back of your head, kill them, turn them, they will forgive you. You know this. You almost throw up thinking about it. The thoughts run through your head every single loop after that.

437, the human paladin wouldn’t mind, you know this. She would let you if it meant saving you. You can’t imagine her as a vampire, you can’t imagine her living through this hell.

438, the dwarf would be an easy target, she would never notice. She might be strong, but you’re smart. She would never even know, you shudder at thinking about it, how do you know it would be easy?

439, the halfling would let you turn them in a heartbeat. They wouldn’t want you to suffer, you know they would do anything to help their friends. You stop thinking this quickly, they’re your  _ friend,  _ why would you hurt them?

440, the Goddess wouldn’t turn very easily. You don’t doubt she could though, you’re too tempted to try. You just want this to be over. You left the table very quick after that, Fox got to you quicker.

441, the human wizard would be easy to overpower. She’s just sticks and twigs, you’re blood and silver, she is nothing compared to you. What will a few spells do against an immortal being like you? You’d just try again. Jo asks why you’re crying, you can’t look her in the eye.

442, the dragonborn, an easy target. Too scared to look at you sometimes, you just have to hang back, talk band, and she’s done for. You glance up at Mal, maybe she does have a reason to be scared of you, maybe you forgive her for breaking the wrong mirror before.

443, the half-elf wouldn’t even flinch. She thinks she’s a monster too, you know this, you got that feeling the moment she told you her name. She’s scared to be her mother, maybe this would be a promise that she never will be. You find yourself muttering quiet apologies before you leave, your gut feels sick.

444, the alien. You promised you wouldn’t think of it, what do promises mean if they hold a candle to nothing. Part of you wants to get her, this is all her fault, if she just never existed you would never be in this mess. Make her pay. You dance with her again as you think, you start crying and pull her into a hug, a silent hug with silent tears. 

513, that was how this started, another loop, another party. Apathy shaken from your bones, you try not to get your hopes up, but this one seems like a good loop. You have a feeling it’s going to be a long day. Another day, another lost present. A poster this time, you’ll miss that you never got to hang it on your wall. They haven’t gotten you this yet.

They trip over themselves introducing their names to you, Emily smiles that starlit smile. Mal tells you to dance, you dance with her, you pretend not to see them leave the ballroom, they have every single time. The songs end, a dip, a shout, a kiss.

You’ll admit, you quite like the feeling of kissing Emily. You laugh a little, this is new, you like new. You’ll die again, yeah, but maybe you’ll repeat this dance again.

Another death, you watch from the shadows. Copying moves of a dance that isn’t meant to be danced by you. They follow Shortcake, you snicker yet sigh as she knocks over your ink. You love that bird but.

You want to scream again, that fucking fox. She laughs and laughs, her “first time?” No, no its  _ NOT. _ You want to rip her to shreds, you aren’t going through this again. A scratched mirror, it feels like your entire body was shattered. You want to cry, a bullet, an arrow, the mirror stays unshattered. The tiefling you don’t know walks up with a sword, Barney casts sacred flame on orange fur. They rip the sheets of the mirrors, one stares at you. Your heart catches in your chest, the dragonborn stabs it through. You close your eyes, you’re so so scared. You open them, they’re all looking at you.

You’re okay.

You pull them into a hug, you feel so safe, you flinch when the clock strikes 12. You melt into the hug some more when you are still standing there. They ask if you’re ready to head out, you’ve never been more ready. You don’t feel scared to show them your true vampire form. Emily sleeps quietly with her head in your lap.

Camp is nice, you decide the moment you see it. Jen and Morin are nice to see again, you wondered why they weren’t at the party. You sleep next to Emily in what Hes calls the “Zodiac Cabin.” You love it, you notice bits and pieces of a spaceship inside, like the one outside the small cabin. Barney crawls onto the top of one bunk, Hes and Diane take both beds of another bunk. You curl up next to Emily, it’s nice and it feels so very safe.

You wake up, and your heart sinks in your chest. Another day, right? Loop 514, not again, you don’t want to go through this again. You sit up, and feel something pull you closer. A glance down, Emily wrapped around you, muttering, something. This, isn’t your room. You look around, hope and happiness fluttering in your chest, pushing out the apathy that sat there for far too long. 

You’re free.

Emily sits up after a bit, she gives you a hug and you know she’s asking what’s wrong. You shake your head, you sign “Nothing,” you give Emily a small smile. She still looks worried, you give her a small kiss on the cheek.

You doubt anything could be wrong ever again.

**Author's Note:**

> this must not make any sense if you're not in our session but! i will answer questions if people don't get things


End file.
